Well today didn't go as my poorly laid plans had hoped. I didn't look so hot for starters. I made a drunkin decision to see him last night when I shouldn't have. It was a lame decision. I was pissed and lonely and I want him to love me.
We kept drinking.
I don't think anything bad was said. Just nothing productive.
So, today I was hung over, tired, sad, frustrated, lonely and desperate. I really wanted him to hug me. To give me that comfort and say, hey, its all good. But he doesn't. And he wont.
Ahh the problems of being attracted to a man so like me. Attracted to a man who is as incapable of showing emotion.
My new tactic will be to chin up. Nothing's less sexy then a sad sack. I've got to stay the girl he liked before and just see what happens I guess but the waitings going to kill me over the weekend. Its all so humiliating. I need to take some power back somehow.